


You Are My Sunshine

by Chelsea072498



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Mental Abuse, Reader Insert, Self Loathing, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 17:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: Reader is investigating a case and needs Dean and Sam’s help. Things quickly go to a place she does not expect.





	You Are My Sunshine

**You Are My Sunshine** [ **  
** ](http://chelsea072498.tumblr.com/post/147996979992/masterlist)

This case is going to kill you.  
You hope not, but you are ready to throw yourself through a glass window.  
  
“I don’t understand.” Dean sits up. He’s trying to rest after driving seventeen hours to get to you. “Seven people are dead. No connections that you have found, but they all died in their sleep?” He looks at you. “(Y/N), you don’t miss things…”  
  
“But I’m missing something.” You look at him. “The victims were as young as twelve and as old as eighty. There’s several places they all went in the last few weeks, but this is a really small town…”  
  
Dean nods. “Kind of hard to not go to the same places, yeah.”  
  
“I asked around and they know each other, but…”  
  
“Small town.” Dean sighs. “No other connections though?”  
  
“I’m missing something.” You know it. Something vital. Something really important. “I’m meeting the boyfriend of one of the teenage girls. Has to be hush hush. He’s twenty three and she was eighteen. Legal but her father didn’t like him.”  
He stands up. You feel yourself taking a deep breath. He’s wearing his jeans and a black tee shirt. You move your eyes back to your laptop. Your feelings for Dean are not a secret. It’s just something no one talks about.  
  
“Let me change…”  
  
“Nah, don’t worry about that.” You tell him. “I told the guy I’d be off duty so showing up in civilian clothes won’t be a shocker. You’ve got your badge?”  
  
“Always.” He checks his phone. “Sammy’s three hours out.”  
  
“Good. I have a feeling we need all hands on deck.” You feel defeated. This is your first solo hunt in three years and you had to ask for help.  
  
“(Y/N/N),” Dean wraps his arms around your shoulders. “I know that look.” He kisses the top of your head. “I know you wanted to do this alone, but I’m glad you called us in. Something isn’t right. This is the kind of case that gets hunters knocked on their asses and leaves the rest of us wondering where the hell they went.”  
“Thanks for coming, Dean.” You bring your shaking hands up to touch his arms, still holding you around the shoulders tight. “I just want to know that I can still do it. If I ever have to go back out on my own for good…”  
  
He turns you around. “That’s never going to happen. You’re too special to us, (Y/N).” He looks almost scared. “You’re part of the family.”  
  
“Thanks,” You hug him. “Let’s go meet this kid before it gets too late. It would be nice to have something new before Sam gets here.”  
  
~*~  
  
Jeff was a bird ready to sing his pretty song. You realize that almost immediately.  
  
“Kate started acting weird two days before she died,” He told you and Dean. “She was wandering around, singing some song about sunshine….”  
  
“Sunshine?” Dean asked.  
  
“Yeah, at first it was cute. She said ‘You are my sunshine’ and was giggling and smiling. And then it got creepy. She started singing it over and over and the night she died, she was cutting her arm…”  
  
“Cutting her arm?” You ask.  
  
Jeff nodded. “Like Caleb Russell…”  
  
“He’s the thirty three year old.” You remind Dean.  
  
“His wife called the cops because he almost took his arm off!”  
  
“Did Kate know Caleb?”  
  
“Everyone knows everyone here. They may not hang together or anything, but we all know each other.”  
  
“Were they in the same place in the weeks before they died?”  
  
Jeff thought for a second. “Well, maybe. There’s an old flea market that comes around once a year. People go over there to look around. We saw Caleb and his family over there the day we went. She was worried that her Daddy would find out we were there together….”  
  
“Did you see any of the other people who have died recently?” You ask. “There’s a possibility that maybe they all ate something there, maybe ingested some kind of oil or something without realizing it.”  
  
Jeff leaned back in his chair. “Jennifer Keller was there,” The twelve year old. “I think Edie Jones too.”  
  
“Thank you, Jeff.” You tell him. “Is this Flea market a traveling thing or just something…”  
  
“Moves around three or four states. It’s set up for another week or so here.” He tells you.  
  
“Thanks,” You nudge Dean. This was a break. A huge break.  
  
Outside, you look at him and shake your head. “Had I met with him a few hours ago….”  
  
“Hey, no,” Dean shook his head. “(Y/N/N), this case is something else. Something really bad. People cutting themselves?”  
  
“It could be ghost possession.” You tell him.  
  
“I don’t know. Something about all of this just isn’t sitting right.” Dean tells you. His phone rings. “Hey, Sammy. We have a new lead. A flea market.” He reports everything Jeff told you. “We’re heading over to the Flea market now. It’s only three…See if you can get into the morgue and take a peek at autopsies.”  
  
You look at him. “You want to head over there now?”  
  
Dean nods. “I have a really bad feeling, (Y/N).” He looks into your (Y/E/C) eyes. You feel yourself melting as his beautiful green eyes study you. “We need to take care of this. Tonight.”  
  
“Dean?” You feel yourself moving closer to him.  
  
He stares into your eyes for another minute before opening the passenger door for you. “Let’s get over there. I just…This doesn’t feel right.”  
  
You wait until he’s sitting in the driver’s seat. “We could call someone else in.” You don’t want to. This is your case. Dean is uneasy. You can see that. He’s clearly upset.  
  
“If we don’t figure this out tonight, we’ll call for backup.”  
  
You start to say something, but you feel a darkness wash over you. You sit back and barely manage to say, “Dean…something….” before you start singing.  
  
“ _You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy_ ….”  
  
~*~  
  
You open your eyes. The room is pitch black. The floor is cold. You reach in your pocket, but your phone is gone.  
  
“Dean?!” You call out. “Sam!?”  
  
Silence is all you hear.  
  
You are surprised you still have your weapons. You stand slowly. Your legs wobble slightly. It’s so dark. So cold. You take a step and slowly reach your hand out. You feel a wall. You feel a door frame. A handle. Slowly, quietly, you turn the handle. If there’s someone or something out there, you have to be careful.  
  
The hallway is familiar. You look from one end to the other. Why is this familiar? Where have you….  
  
You stop. It’s your Uncle Bobby’s house. The house has been gone for four or five years now. There’s no way….  
  
“(Y/N).” His voice. You smile. He’s with you.  
  
“(Y/N/N), I need you!”  
  
“I’m coming!” You call out. You race to the room you know he’s in and open it.  
  
He’s not there.  
  
“Dean?” You turn and look. “Dean?”  
  
“(Y/N/N), where are you?”  
  
“Dean!?” You start trying different door handles. “Where are you?!”  
  
“I’m in here!”  
  
You stop. His voice is coming from all around you.  
  
“(Y/N)!”  
  
“(Y/N/N)!”  
  
“Where are you?!” You scream. “Dean!”  
  
The voices get louder. You keep turning, looking, expecting Dean. Finally they stop. You’re breathing heavy. You swallow and take a step forward, ready to check the last room.  
  
“Boo.” You feel his breath on your neck, his lips dangerously close.  
  
“You asshole!” You turn to punch him and jump back. “No!”  
  
Dean is there. Not the Dean you’ve been riding with, but the Dean you ran away from.  
  
His black eyes blink, the beautiful green is back. “You don’t want to play with me, (Y/N/N)?”  
  
You run to the last door and it opens. You slam it shut, tears falling. You lock it. You know that won’t do any good though. If he wants to get to you, he will.  
  
You take a deep breath. This is Bobby’s house….isn’t it? He kept things scattered all over the place, just in case. You rush the dresser. There’s a flask you know he kept Holy water in.  
  
It’s empty.  
  
You go for a hidden compartment in the floor you know Bobby kept weapons, salt, and other useful items in.  
  
Nothing.  
  
“Damn, Girl. You’re going to run? Again? I don’t understand why. This is the only way you’ll ever have me.”  
  
“You aren’t real!” You scream. “This isn’t real!”  
  
You realize your words. You realize that this isn’t real. Bobby’s house is gone. Dean is not a demon.  
  
What the hell is happening to you?  
  
“Hey,” you look up and jump backwards, falling.  
  
“Don’t!” You pull your knife out. “Don’t come near me!”  
  
“You really aren’t a good hunter.” Dean’s face is one of disappointment. “Sam and I tried. We didn’t want to, but we felt we owed Bobby.”  
  
“This isn’t real.” You say the words. “Dean would never say that to me.”  
  
“Really, Sweetheart?” This Dean stands up. “Dean would never say that you’re a worthless piece of shit? He only agreed to let you ride with them because he figured it’d be nice to have a piece of ass on the road. Of course, you had to go and develop feelings.” His face changes to disgust. “Dean doesn’t do feelings, Baby girl.”  
  
“Dean doesn’t call me Baby girl.” You say.  
  
“I do.” The voice changes. The body changes.  
  
You are now looking at your Uncle Bobby.  
  
“Baby girl….pain in the ass. Your dad was a damn fool to bother with you.”  
  
“You aren’t my uncle. He loved me.”  
  
This Bobby laughs. “Loved you? He hated you! You asked him too many questions. You were too obsessed with things you needed to leave alone. Damn it, it’s your fault your momma was killed!”  
  
You shake your head. “No.”  
  
“You think you’re going to get out of this alive? You are a bigger fool than anyone gave you credit for.” The words hurt, but you have to ignore them. You know it’s not Bobby Singer in front of you. It’s an illusion.  
  
“You’re still sweet on Dean. All these years and he only wanted you when he was a demon and could humiliate you and get away with it later.”  
  
“That’s in the past.” You say. “We moved on.”  
  
“ _ **Yes, I suppose you would see it that way**_. Did you really move on? Did he really move on?”  
  
“Yes! We talked about that night.”  
  
“You think he was really sorry?”  
  
“Yes.” You know Dean has never forgiven himself for what happened. It’s come up after a few nights of very heavy drinking. “Dean never meant to hurt me.”  
  
“Keep telling yourself that, Sweetheart.” You turn. Dean is standing there.  
  
“This isn’t real.” You repeat the words.  
  
“Idgit.” Bobby’s voice says.  
  
“I’m stuck in some illusion.” You close your eyes. “This isn’t real!”  
  
“I can give you real, Sweetheart.” Dean’s hand snakes around your body. His hand moves down between your legs, “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”  
  
“NO!” You scream and push him away. “THIS IS NOT REAL!”  
  
You blink and you’re in a cemetery. You recognize it. Where are you?….  
  
“You know,” Dean looks over at you. “You might be cute, but you aren’t too cute you can’t help us dig a grave.”  
  
You remember this. You start to reply, but someone else does.  
  
You.  
  
You at sixteen.  
  
Dean is also sixteen.  
  
“Screw you, Winchester.” Your younger self says. “We had a deal. You lost. You dig.”  
  
“(Y/N), I’m only picking on you.” Dean winks. “I would never let you do this. You’re too much of a lady.”  
  
You laugh at him. “Right, I’m sure…”  
The memory fades. You turn around and see Dean.  
  
This Dean is different.  
  
“Thank goodness!” He rushes to you. He touches your face. “Oh, (Y/N/N), I was scared. I was terrified I lost you.”  
  
“Dean?”  
  
“It’s not a cursed item. It’s a Djinn. It’s some kind of supercharged, steroid ingesting Djinn.”  
  
“Then…” You take a step back. “You aren’t real. You aren’t real.”  
  
“I am,” He says. “I’m the most real you’re going to see here. I’m in your dream, (Y/N). We have to get you out.”  
  
“How do I know you’re real?”  
  
“You told me you loved me when we were seventeen.” Dean sighs. “I laughed. Like a damn fool, I laughed. You ran off and didn’t talk to me for almost a year. That sucked.”  
  
“Anything in my head would know that.”  
  
“Not what I thinking.” He tells you. “I was thinking that I love you. I wasn’t in love with you, but maybe….had I given things a try, maybe I would have fallen in love you.”  
  
You shake your head. Tears start to fall. “I’m in a nightmare. I have no control….”  
  
“You do!” Dean says. “It’s a maze. The others….they didn’t finish it. That’s why they died. They died going through the maze.”  
  
“If this is a Djinn, I can stab myself and die and wake up….”  
  
“Not this Djinn.” Dean saws. “It's…..it’s something we haven’t seen. Crowley and Cas are with Sam, trying to figure it out.”  
  
“I want you to be real.” You tell him. “I need you to be real.”  
  
He pulls you to him. You start to struggle, but you stop. There’s something about him that’s different.  
  
Something about him that’s real.  
  
“Dean?”  
  
“I’m here,” he kisses your forehead. “We’re going to do this together.”  
  
“But….”  
  
“We’re going to do this together.” He looks into your eyes. “I need you to know something.”  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
“When we get out of here, I’m never letting you go.” His smile lights up the dark, cold room you are standing in. “I’ve wasted too much time and seeing you….the way this…”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You zoned out on me. Started singing that sunshine song and then reached for your knife….”  
  
“I don’t remember that.”  
  
“You were already in this maze.” Dean tells you. “All of the victims were.”  
  
“Can we really get out?” You ask him. “Dean, I’m scared.”  
  
“Shh,” He touches your cheeks. “We’re together. We’re going to kick this maze’s ass, wake up, have a few drinks, and then….” He smiles again. “Whatever we end up doing.”  
  
He takes your hand and you study this new room you are suddenly in. “I don’t recognize this place.” You tell him.  
  
“I do.” He looks almost scared.  
  
A door opens. Like the cemetery, the people who enter do not see you.  
  
“You know she loves you.” Sam looks at his brother.  
  
“And?” This Dean looks at Sam. “We both know that doesn’t matter. I don’t love her.”  
  
“This was….I was….” The Dean holding your hand looks at you. “I was scared. I’ve faced Lucifer, Leviathan, and the Darkness. How I feel about you scares me more than any of those things.”  
  
“Dean, (Y/N/N) is different! She’s family.”  
  
“Sam, let it go!” Dean screams. “Never going to happen.”  
  
You feel Dean’s hand squeezing yours tighter as the scene fades and you two are looking at a red door. Dean seems to be frozen.  
  
“You don’t have to stay.” You tell him. “You’re only here because…”  
  
“I ain’t leaving you alone.” He says. “Never again.”  
  
You walk to the door and open it. There’s another hallway. “Damn it!”  
  
“We can’t keep opening everyday.” Dean tells you. “We need to get to the end and get the hell out of here.”  
  
You know that, but you also know the door at the end of the hall isn’t the right one. “We have to figure out which door we need to go through.”  
  
“You have to pick, (Y/N).” Dean says. “I’m with you.”  
  
You look at the doors. There’s three blue and three green. One calls to you. As you walk closer to it, you feel something indescribable.  
  
“This is it.” You tell Dean. “This is the door.”  
  
Slowly, you turn the handle. As the door opens, you are surprised by what you see.  
  
You. At least ten of you.  
  
Different ages. Different times in your life.  
  
“I have to face my own worst enemy.” You tell Dean.  
  
“I don’t see anything,” He says.  
  
“I see me. I see a lot of me.”  
  
The smallest and youngest version looks up. “You were such a loser! You couldn’t make any friends in first grade! You were such a freak!”  
  
You recognize the next as you at twelve. “You didn’t listen and Danny got hurt. You are so stupid!”  
  
Dean feels you shaking. “I’m here. I can’t see anything….”  
  
“You were the loser no one asked to the dance. You lied and said your boyfriend was coming. You thought Dean would pretend, just for a night.”  
  
“Are you going to say something?” Another one asked.  
  
“I made mistakes. I know that.”  
  
The version that was closest to you in age stood up. “Mistakes? You are a major fuck up!”  
  
“You had Dean and couldn’t even keep him!” It was the you from Dean’s time as a demon.  
  
“I never had him.” You tell her. “That wasn't….it was…”  
  
Dean’s hands are holding you protectively. “What are they saying?”  
  
“Everything I say to myself.” You tell him. “I’m a loser, I can’t do things right…”  
  
Dean turns you around and looks in his eyes. “Stop it. Now. You are amazing. You do everything right. Sam and I can’t function without you!”  
  
“Sympathy from Dean?!” The youngest version of you jumps up. “Dean was always the best fantasy, wasn’t he?”  
  
“He was the best reality too.” Another you says.  
  
“Stop it!” You tell them.  
  
“Yeah, Dean isn’t really why we’re here anyway.”  
  
“All the people you’ve killed….  
  
“All the people you hurt….”  
  
“How many innocents did you kill learning to be a hunter?”  
  
“I love how you didn’t add ‘good’ in there.”  
  
“We all know the truth. She hates herself. She hates every part of herself. She knows she’s a loser and that the only reason anyone in the hunting community talks to her is because of Bobby.”  
  
“Poor Bobby. Saddled with a whiny little brat.”  
  
“Bobby hated having you around.”  
  
“You always screwed up cases.”  
  
“He couldn’t focus on anything because he had to baby you.”  
  
“Stop it!” You scream. “Bobby loved me!”  
  
Dean is whispering. “Bobby loved you. You’re right. He loved you so much.”  
  
“You are such a loser!”  
  
“Freak!”  
  
“STOP IT!” You scream. “I’m not perfect but I’m not a loser! I’m not the best hunter but I’ve saved people!”  
  
Two versions of you disappeared.  
  
“She’s figuring this out. We’ll have to try harder.”  
  
“You can all go to hell!” You say. “I don’t need all of you to tell me these things. I lived those moments. I made my mistakes. I…” You close your eyes. “I’ve learned to live with myself. Good or bad. Now go the hell away!”  
  
You open your eyes and they are all gone. Dean looks around. “This is it. You did it.”  
  
“I did?”  
  
“The three doors.” He says. “You have to pick one.”  
  
You stare at all three. Each is black. Each has a silver handle. “Dean, these doors are the same.”  
  
“Are they?”  
  
You turn around. “No! Not again!”  
  
“Which of us is real?” The new Dean asks. He’s completely identical to the one still holding you.  
“Dean?”  
  
“Yeah, Sweetheart.” Both answer. The one holding you grows angry. “Don’t do this! She got to the end! She finished your maze!”  
  
The other Dean snaps his finger. You are suddenly standing alone and both Deans are in front of you.  
  
“It’s me,” One says. “I’m right here.”  
  
“Don’t listen to him! It’s me!”  
  
“What the hell is going on?!” You ask “This is the last part of the maze. I have to figure out which one is real…. You know how.  
  
“My Dean is here because of dream root. It’s time to wake up.”  
  
“No!” Both say.  
  
“That’s the only way for me to finish this.” You say.  
  
“I promised to stay with you.”  
  
“Until the end.”  
  
“Wake up, Dean.” You say. “Please! Wake up and let me finish this!”  
  
“(Y/N)….”  
  
“Wake up!” You’re begging. “Please!”  
  
“I love you.” The Dean on the right says. “I love you, (Y/N). I’ll see you in a few minutes.”  
  
Suddenly he’s gone. The other Dean smiles. “Very good, (Y/N). Maybe you’re not as dumb as you look.”  
  
“What kind of Djinn are you?”  
  
He stops and looks at you. “I’m something no one has ever seen before.”  
  
His body starts to contort and skin falls. You watch, knowing that this really is something no one has seen before. Something no one has imagined.  
  
“You’re a shapeshifting Djinn?”  
  
“My Grandmother was also a witch.” You’re looking at Jeff. “My grandfather was a Djinn. My mother was a shapeshifter. I’m just something really incredible.”  
  
“Incredibly annoying.” You tell him.  
  
He laughs. “Oh, (Y/N). I made you for a hunter three months ago. I met you at a bar outside Detroit. I recognized the Winchesters immediately. They killed my brother.”  
  
“That’s what we do.” You have your knife in your hand. “We kill the bad guys.”  
  
“I swore revenge. I was going to shift into Sam and kill Dean, then kill Sam as Dean. Simple plan, but it lacked finesse.” He smiles at you. “I saw you. Sweet, pretty, innocent (Y/N). Your (Y/H/C) pulled into a sweet ponytail. Tight jeans, a flannel over a tank top that was covering a gorgeous rack Dean couldn’t seem to take his eyes off….Well, I knew right away how to hurt them.”  
  
“Dean and Sam lose people all the time. Yeah, it sucks, but they’re use to it.”  
  
“You’re forgetting something. I was just Dean. He never gets over it. He mourns all his losses. Daily. Losing you would be the one to kill him. He actually loves you.”  
  
“Dean’s stronger than that. He may care…”  
  
“He loves you.” Jeff says. “Right now, he’s crying over you. You’re singing in your sleep…”  
  
“I’m what?”  
  
“You’re singing.” His psychotic smile sends chills through you. “ _You are my sunshine_.”  
  
“Stop it.” You take a step toward him.  
  
“ _My only sunshine_.”  
  
“Stop it.” You are right in front of him.  
  
“You aren’t going to stab the man you love.” Once again he twists and contorts and you’re staring at Dean. Again.  
  
“You make me happy when skies are gray.” Dean’s face is looking at you. “You can’t do it, can you? You can’t stab the man you love.”  
  
“Want to make a bet?” You ask just before you plunge the knife deep in his chest.  
  
His face changes and you see his eyes. His eyes.  
  
“Oh my God….”  
  
“(Y/N), why….why did you stab me?”  
  
The laughter behind you causes you to look up.  
  
“You couldn’t even kill a monster in your dream!”  
  
“You’re a loser!”  
  
Dean stares at you. “I love you.”  
  
“I’m sorry!”  
  
“She’s not a hunter. She’s just a killer.”  
  
“Sam will never forgive her.”  
  
“I’m so sorry, Dean.” You cry. “I didn’t know! I didn’t know!”  
  
The other Dean laughs. “This is perfect! This is beautiful!”  
  
“(Y/N), I love you. This….is all in your head.”  
  
“Dean…”  
  
“Close your eyes, Sweetheart. They’ll go away.”  
  
“I love you, Dean.”  
  
“Close your eyes.”  
  
You kiss him. You keep your eyes closed and suddenly know.  
  
You open your eyes and you are all alone. You’re in a pitch black room. The floor is ice cold.  
  
“Dean?!” You call out. “Dean!?”  
  
You keep screaming until your voice is hoarse. You finally drop to the floor and feel the knife next to you. You reach for it.  
  
“You are my sunshine,” Your voice is almost gone. You don’t know why you are even singing.  
  
“You make happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you.”  
  
You plunge the knife deep into your stomach. You know your time is limited. You feel the darkness coming over you.  
  
“Please don’t take my sunshine away….”  
  
~*~  
  
You look up and see him. You can’t smile. You want to, but you can’t. You’re stuck inside your head.  
  
You have been for five years now.  
  
Dean walks over. His beautiful green eyes always look so sad, tired, and as much as you love him, you wish he’d never come back. For his own sake.  
  
“I miss you, (Y/N/N),” He kisses your cheek. “We’re working on this. Losing Cas and Crowley that night really set us back. On a lot.” Dean sighed. “Chuck doesn’t answer prayers. Rowena….she always had a soft spot for you. She’s trying to find something.”  
  
You look at him. You need him to know that you see him, know he’s there. You understand him. Most of the doctors and nurses think you’re completely gone. You are there. You just haven’t found a way to prove it.  
  
“I hate myself for not getting you out. Sam hates himself for leaving even for just a few minutes.” Dean runs his hand through his hair. “(Y/N), it sucks without you. I need you…”  
  
“Mmm….hmmmm…” You manage to get the sound out.  
  
Dean looks up. “Sweetheart? Are you trying to talk to me?” He looks at the nurse. “Alicia! She’s trying to talk!”  
  
“Dean, honey,” Alicia is a friend of the hunters. You’re in a hospital that unknowingly caters to hunters. “She makes noises occasionally.  
  
“She’s trying to talk!” Dean insists. “Look!”  
  
You are moving your head. You open your mouth to speak. Your breathing heavy, trying to get the words out.  
  
“You….” You realize that the words you want to say aren’t coming. “You…”  
  
“Me? What about me, Darlin’?” Dean’s eyes are filled with tears. “Come on, Baby, talk to me…”

  
“ _You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray…_.”


End file.
